Lately, the airlines have been roundly criticized for keeping all the added fees they imposed due to the increased price of fuel, but kept when fuel prices went down. I think they could escape this criticism by developing more creative marketing programs.
For example, did you hear about the woman’s mother who was lost by US Airways last week? And no, I’m not kidding. According to The Consumerist, a US Airways employee put a 83-year-old wheelchair-bound passenger on the wrong flight and deposited her in San Juan while her daughter was waiting for her in Tampa.
Okay, I think we can all agree this was a total screw-up on the part of US Airways. On the other hand, here they were presented with a great marketing opportunity, and they blew it.
If US Airways executives had thought really quickly, just think of this great interview opportunity:
Reporter: “Hello, US Airways? This is Associated Press and I’m calling for a comment on that lady you mistakenly sent to San Juan.”
US Airways: “That was so unfortunate, and we apologize for the inconvenience caused, but she was mistakenly identified as a test subject in a new added-fee program we are currently developing.”
Reporter, darting in like a barracuda about to snatch a goldfish: ”A new added fee program? What’s that all about?”
US Airways: “Well, it has been confidential, but since you’re so interested…all of us in the industry realize that all those fees we’ve been adding on — for shipped baggage, water, food, pillows, etc., etc. — haven’t added up to a hill of beans so we’ve been forced to develop new programs to generate more revenue.”
Reporter: “And this was a new program?”
US Airways: “This was a test run for our newest program, called “Lose Your Mother-in-Law.” For an added fee of $250 we will misdirect your mother-in-law to some distant airport so you don’t have to spend the holiday with her.”
Reporter: “You’ll get rid of someone’s mother-in-law for $250?”
US Airways: “Absolutely. And after a predetermined time we will return her safely to the airport of your choice.”
Reporter: “All for $250?”
US Airways: “Yes, but during peak travel periods such as the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays we will be forced to add a 50% surcharge, as well as the normal fuel surcharge fees, shipped luggage fees, water fees, food fees, pillow and blanket fees…”
Reporter: “Thank you, and can you send me a release on this?”
US Airways: “Of course. And would you like to hear about our “Screaming Baby as Cargo” Program? For only $400, plus the normal fuel surcharge…”
For example, did you hear about the woman’s mother who was lost by US Airways last week? And no, I’m not kidding. According to The Consumerist, a US Airways employee put a 83-year-old wheelchair-bound passenger on the wrong flight and deposited her in San Juan while her daughter was waiting for her in Tampa.
Okay, I think we can all agree this was a total screw-up on the part of US Airways. On the other hand, here they were presented with a great marketing opportunity, and they blew it.
If US Airways executives had thought really quickly, just think of this great interview opportunity:
Reporter: “Hello, US Airways? This is Associated Press and I’m calling for a comment on that lady you mistakenly sent to San Juan.”
US Airways: “That was so unfortunate, and we apologize for the inconvenience caused, but she was mistakenly identified as a test subject in a new added-fee program we are currently developing.”
Reporter, darting in like a barracuda about to snatch a goldfish: ”A new added fee program? What’s that all about?”
US Airways: “Well, it has been confidential, but since you’re so interested…all of us in the industry realize that all those fees we’ve been adding on — for shipped baggage, water, food, pillows, etc., etc. — haven’t added up to a hill of beans so we’ve been forced to develop new programs to generate more revenue.”
Reporter: “And this was a new program?”
US Airways: “This was a test run for our newest program, called “Lose Your Mother-in-Law.” For an added fee of $250 we will misdirect your mother-in-law to some distant airport so you don’t have to spend the holiday with her.”
Reporter: “You’ll get rid of someone’s mother-in-law for $250?”
US Airways: “Absolutely. And after a predetermined time we will return her safely to the airport of your choice.”
Reporter: “All for $250?”
US Airways: “Yes, but during peak travel periods such as the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays we will be forced to add a 50% surcharge, as well as the normal fuel surcharge fees, shipped luggage fees, water fees, food fees, pillow and blanket fees…”
Reporter: “Thank you, and can you send me a release on this?”
US Airways: “Of course. And would you like to hear about our “Screaming Baby as Cargo” Program? For only $400, plus the normal fuel surcharge…”
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